Fuck I have been robbed !

Last week I saw some of the smelliest injuries I have seen to date. I had 6 leper patients in in the last 5 days. Yesterday a man came in who had leprosy and a huge gash in his foot. The smell was indescribable. I had to really concentrate on not vomiting. The skin was hanging off his leg from his knee downwards like a pair of loose stockings and it was suppurating and weeping like a broken tap. I cut away all the skin which was about 4 or 5 layers thick and put it into the container for later disposal. I then bandaged the whole thing up as quickly as I could to get outside and breath the fresh air which I needed like a drowning man. Some other patients who were in a terrible state got tended to by me and 3 died, being so far gone in their injuries. The mad Italian Marco has left to go up into the mountains to pray for a week so a certain amount of calm has descended on our little home, although I now have to clean. Not up to Marco's OCD standard but nevertheless not to bad for someone who has had a maid for 25 years. Lovely Loles our gorgeous Spanish volunteer has left on Monday morning. Galci and myself and Loles went out for a final dinner together on Saturday night. First we went to a local Ethiopian student bar where we were the only white people and drank beer in a wonderful atmosphere and student chatter and music. Then we went to a resturant called Jollys for Burgers and Burritos. Quite strange being served burgers by Ethiopians male and female dressed as Santa with white beards and a Christmas tree in the middle of the room with the live aid song Do they know its Christmas time, playing on a loop. A great evening full of laughter. Sunday Loles came from her hotel to have Mass with us at the center and then I said I would take her shopping on her last day. We walked from our place to Piazza and then down Churchill Avenue (a good tourist shopping street) and all the way down town. This took us about 3 hours. Then we went into a supermarket because I wanted to buy some sweets for the children at the center. I brought a huge tub of 100 balls of sugar on a stick which I stupidly brought out my whole wad of cash to pay for. So someone saw how much money I had. About a mile later, Loles and I were walking along Bole road without a care in the world when suddenly a man 'Accidently' sneezes into my hand and over my trousers. It was a full mouthful of spittle. He said sorry sorry and proceeded to get a tissue out of his pocket and wipe down my trousers. The oldest con in the book and I feel for it. Somehow he managed to get his hand into the front pocket of my jeans (he couldn't have got his hand in there six weeks ago, hell I couldn't have got my hand in there six weeks ago but 6 kilos lighter makes an opportunity for the cunning con man) and got my wad out without me noticing until 20 minutes later. Well they do say ones mans lose is another mans gain  I was spitting (pardon the pun) mad. That is only the second time in 35 years I have been robbed but it still made me crazy that I didn't notice it, nor did Loles who was watching the whole thing. Bugger. 1600 Birr was taken which equates to two months rent for one of the doctors I work with, £60.00, a huge sum down here. The really annoying thing is now I look at everyone suspiciously which I feel is unfair. Anyway so now its just me and Galci left. Alice Murphy from Narobi arrives today so that will be lovely. The 300 pound cook who has the hots for me has upped her foreplay technique. Her mating ritual with me, to show me how much she fancies me is to clip me round the head when I walk past her kitchen, which I have to do 6 to 8 times a day. That is then followed by a forearm punch to the stomach with a forearm like the ham of a black forest pig. After she has delivered these love tokens she stands back arms akimbo grinning manically waiting for me to capitulate to her charms. Actually she is very funny but still quite painful.

A brief history of Ethiopia

If you asked most people what they knew about Ethiopia they would say, Sir Bob and the 1984 Famine followed by a rather forgettable song all done with the best of intentions but very badly managed with the money not ending up where it was intended to. 1930-31 Ras Tafari is crowned as Emperor Haile Selassie and dubbed the chosen one of God. A year later Ethiopia gets its first written constitution which grants the Emperor almost total power. 1935-36 Italy invades Ethiopia; illegal use os mustard gas and bombing of civilian targets kills 275,000 Ethiopians. Italy loses 4350 men. In 1936 the Italians capture Addis and Selassie flees the country. The King of Italy is made Emperor of Ethiopia. 1941-42 British commonwealth and Ethiopian forces liberate Ethiopia, Haile Selassie reclaims his throne and Ethiopia its Independence. In the following years the country modernises very quickly. 1960 In response to growing discontent over the Emperor's autocratic rule, the imperial bodyguard stage a coup d'etat, which is defeated by the army and airforce. 1962 Addis Ababais made the headquarters of the Organisation of African Unity. To prove just how united Africa is, Haile Selassie unilaterally annexes Eritrea, separatist Eritreans launch a bitter guerrilla war. 1972-74 A dreadful famine strikes and around 200,00 people die. This further increases resentment towards the Emperor and students start protesting. 1974 After years of discontent and increasing street protests Haile Selassie is deposed as Emperor on 12 September; the Derg declare a socialist state on 20 September. 1977-78 Somalia invades the Ogaden region of Ethiopia. Somalia forces are eventually defeated in 1978, but only with massive help from the Cuban and Soviet forces. 1984 Israel launches Operation Moses, a six week operation to secretly airlift 8000 Ethiopians Jews to Israel. 1984-85 Famine haunts much of the highland of Ethiopia and up to a million people die. The reasons for the famine are climatic and political. A huge relief operation spearheaded by Bob Geldof gets under way. 1991 Following a referendum Eritrea becomes independent. 1995 The Federal Democratic Republic of Ethiopia is proclaimed and the first fair elections are held. 1998-2000 Ethiopia and Eritrea go to war over a barren wasteland, 70,000 die. 2000-2001 A formal peace agreement is declared between the two countries and a demilitarised zone is established along the boarder. 2006-09 Ethiopia invades Somalia in order to dislodge the Islamic Courts Union. It becomes embroiled in a guerrilla war and finally pulls out in early 2009. 2007 In September Ethiopia celebrates the new millennium and catches up with the rest of the world (its 2004 here at the moment)

Approaching Christmas far from home.

Well 12 of our patients, friends left us this week, on up to heaven where God is waiting to welcome them into his kingdom. My lovely patient patient who I have been squeezing half a pint of blood from his leg each day died last night. About time too God. A man who I have been treating for very advanced cancer in his neck left us as well. His neck looked like he had been shot by a small bore shotgun at about 2 feet. It was a terrible mess and he was so patient with me dressing it up every day. I had a lovely late afternoon drinks with the Welsh photographer who lives about 20 minuites walk from me. I walked up to his house with his 3 completely delightful children aged 4, 6 and 9 who all skoke, Mongolian (thier previous posting) German and English. I then ended up staying for dinner with Tony who joined us later. A really wonderful family evening and good grub.

Friday morning, I did my rounds with my trolley full of bandages, creams, lotions and potions and finished up dressing my friend who we all thought were going to die 2 days ago. The hole in his back is bigger now and there must have been about half a pint of green puss had come out and had socked the sheets. The smell of necrotic flesh is still in my nostrils 2 days later. I took a scalpel and cut away the dead flesh, poured some iodine into his hole after have cleaned it with Savlon and Hydrogen peroxide first and then covered it up. Then his missing buttock which from a side angle looked exactly like a side of beef. All I kept thinking about was those Chilean passengers on the jet that crashed into the Andes who resorted to cannibalism. It really did look like a Sunday joint, but I would have been very pushed to eat any. He was looking much better but the smell was horrendous. Just as I finished cleaned him up and doing his dressing he defecated with an unusual amount of energy for someone in such a sorry state, so I had to start all over again. Poor man. Friday lunch time I went out for my physio session and when I arrived back my poor lovely man whom I had just looked after has passed away 10 minutes earlier. A much happier man now than he was at the start of the day. God in his infinite wisdom had decided the time was right for him to go th heaven. Another of my patients has a swollen knee which the doctor lanced with a scalpel 3 weeks ago. Every day I have to take his dressing off and squeeze out the dead blood. You know its useless blood because it is full of congealed bits and puss. I extract about a quarter of a pint a day. He is so weak and hardly eats anything. I think he will leave us in the next week. He is so patient with me as I squeeze and squeeze. I just want to get as much poison out of his body as possible to make him better but I fear he is beyond saving. We lost 2 more patients this week, one from HIV and one from TB. Other than that it was a good week, the sun is out everyday, not that we see a lot of it. I do at lunch time but the rest of the time we are inside, but its lovely for the patients to be able to lie lizard like in the sun soaking up the heat. I met a lovely English man from Sheffield called Tony at the Born Free foundation whose wife works at the German Embassy and asked me for lunch on Wednesday. What a haven of tranquillity as we drove into the Embassy compound. Manicured lawns, every colour of Jacaranda tree you can imagine. There are 8 houses in the grounds and Tony has one. We sat on the veranda with a friend of theirs who is a welsh photographer who photographs for Non Governmental Organisations down here, lovely man and ate the most Delicious curry with home made nan, num num. Friday night a girl I met with Andrew and Francoise who works as a finance director of a German company down here called Sonia and I went out to a very fancy Italian restaurant called Castelli's. When we walked into the restaurant we were met by pictures of Bill Clinton, Brad and Angeline (they were probably here picking up to add to their brood) Sir Bob and other grand people, so we knew we were in the right place. Wonderful salad, fresk tagliatelle with white truffles, fresh gambas, num num !!!. Then because the gates at Mother Teresa close at 9.00 pm she let me stay in a lovely room in the basement of her house. Rat free and so comfortable.

The other new volunteer is  lovely Spanish girl called Loles. She is around 40 and is staying at a local hotel and will be here for 2 weeks. She speaks perfect English and has taken to joining me for my morning 7.15 am coffee which is nice.

Well shoot me please like a lame husky on a South Pole expedition. I was lying in bed last night and my little feet were a bit cold so I slipped on some lovely woolly hiking socks. Then I looked at the chair beside my bed  and AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH there was a bottle of pills a jar of face cream and a half eaten banana still in its skin. I have become my grandmother. The only thing missing was a pair of false teeth sitting in a whisky glass. Lying in bed with a pair of dirty glasses perched on the end of my nose curled up reading a book (actually an I pad TWO) wearing a pair of socks, if I am like this at 53 what will I be like at 85 ?? We had a patient in yesterday at the outpatients ward but sadly he died before we got to see him. So I sewed him up into some sheets and he was taken away and hopefully up to heaven. Then 3 days ago a patient came in with the worst bed sore I have ever seen and he was very ill. I have sat and held hands with over 20 people and prayed with them as they passed on to the next world. This man was dying without a shadow of a doubt. I held his hand which was like ice and he was gasping for breath. I dabbed some water onto a gauze and moistened his lips as they were starting to get cracked. I priest was called as were 2 sisters and he was given the last rights as the sisters prayed for him. I went in the next morning and he was sitting up chatting, quite extraordinary and a lovely story. I dressed all his sores today and his hands and feet were full of warm blood. There are 2 new volunteers. One a Spanish boy called Galci who works with the children and is brilliant. He is 21 and wants to become a nurse working with mental patients, although I sat up with him late last night with him telling me of all the mind altering drugs he has taken in his life, this man is a professional researcher into his future subject. Stephen has gone to visit his parents for 2 weeks in Australia and so the ever kindly Hughes family have asked me to stay on Saturday with all my laundry, On bliss and how our priorities change.

Well I have just come back from Mass (church !) and as usual on Sunday they read out the names of our patients who have died during the week and then we pray for them. 5 died this week. There are 17 Sisters who all kneel at the front of the church without pews and then the rest of the congregation sit kneel and stand behind them. Some of these patients I have been praying for them to leave this world for the second part of their journey where they will be in heaven and without pain to begin the second part of their journey. God in his mercy has decided that he wants these members of his flock by his side and I am so happy when God in his infinite wisdom has decided the time is right. They are without pain and so are now at peace. All I hope is that we the doctor's, pharmacists and volunteers made their last few days, weeks or months on this earth bearable thanks to the saintly Mother Teresa and all her devoted Sisters who work relentlessly for the sick, dying and destitute. How completely humble I feel in their presence and how lucky and privileged I am to be working amongst them. They have clean sheets, showers, loos, full belly's and wards full of friends and friendship and the love of the Sisters. I was walking back from my physio treatment the other day when I came across a road going slap bang through the middle of Addis. It was 18 lanes ! 9 going one way and 9 going the other. Ever since I was run down by a Royal mail van 8 years ago (hence my visit to the physio) I am still pretty jumpy crossing the road, never mind look left look right and look left again, my head resembles Linda Blair's in the Exorcist, swivelling around to check every possible angle from where a car might appear. There was a blind man of around 30 standing at the start of this death walk waiting for someone to take his arm and lead him safely across. I am afraid my to my eternal shame, I thought I am not sure if I am going to make this crossing safely by myself and so I dam sure I am not going to take you with me. My chances of survival alone are 50-50 but with you on my arm 90-10. So I walked past him. When sweating and with rubber knees I reached the other side I turned round to see what had happened to my blind friend and to my utter shame I saw a 5 year old school girl leading and threading him through the now moving traffic. I felt quite sick with shame. That wont happen again. So if you are reading my obituary one day soon, after having perished on an 18 lane road going through the center of Addis with a blind man clutching my arm, I can say, I told you I wouldn't let it happen again. Oxymoron, what a great word. I was walking down the street the other day and saw a restaurant called, Cafe Restaurant, and Oxymoron in lights underneath it, quite clever. The Americans come up with Oxymoron's without even realising it. Jumbo Prawns, CIA Intelligence. In Ethiopia Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays are Fasting days which mean you cant eat meat or dairy products on these days. So on Friday last I went to a Pizza restaurant and asked for a Pepperoni Pizza. The girl came back to me asking if I wanted a Fasting Pizza. (I then made a sound like  Scoobe Doo), A Fasting Pizza ?, yes she said one without cheese. I have now discovered the definitive Oxymoron, a Fasting Pizza. Talking of Pizza's you eat so well in Addis. The local food Injeria, a sort of brown pancake covered with spicy meat, vegetables and eggs is most unpalatable for me but the other countries of the world are well represented here. I have eaten very good Italian, Greek, Lebanese, French, Mexican and Spanish. I mean really good and not expensive. In top of the line restaurants you pay without drinks around £5.00 to £9.00 per head. Very good value. I am sort of on my stepfathers food routine of only eating once a day. I have not been hungry once and have lost (a much needed) 5 kilos in 4 and a half weeks with no pain. Aperpro of absolutely nothing and nothing for my Mother to be worried about, I have become fascinated with male policeman's bottoms. They are tiny tiny tiny. Their waits cant be more than 28 inches and are of a good height. These stick insects walk up and down the road holding each others hands, not in a homosexual way its just their way. Whilst I sit in a cafe with my coffee and a donut in my hand (possibly a frustrated New York cop) looking at their bottoms. Hummm time to come home ???

Well here we are in December. I was Face booking my cousin Mark Birtwistle and he said he was off to a Christmas party today !! It all seems so very far away from me. Had the worst injury I have seen yet yesterday. A man fell down and broke his back about 4 months ago. Because he was and is now paralysed from the chest downwards he didn't feel any pain so why go to a doctor ? He had part of his spine coming out of a hole the size of a golf ball. It looked like the bone from a lamb cutlet sticking about one and a half inches from his back. Then because of not moving in bed he had developed a bed sore on his left buttock. It had eaten the whole of his buttock away. Tou could see and touch his upper leg bone and all the tissue and sinues where there on display, not only that but it was all green being necrotic and heavenly infected. The doctors got furious with his wife who had not addressed this appalling problem and just stood there looking blankly. I forgot to say when I went up to the Born Free compound with Stephen a couple of weeks ago, we were having our lunch and there were 4 wild cheetahs wondering around about 5 feet from us with no fencing between us, it was magical. My day consists of the alarm clock going off at 6.00 am, a lie in for bankers but am still getting used to it !. Then Mass at 6.30 am until 7.15 am. Then I go back to my room and do exercises for my back for 40 mins. Then I walk up the road to the Amba cafe for my Macciachio to kick start my day. Then off to OPD (out patients department) to start setting up my trolley for the day. Then me and Abyiot who I work with doing dressings set off for ward 4 where the wounds patients are. Then finish at 12.30 and depending on my back I will either go back to the Amba cafe for a bowel of soup or go for a lie down. Back to the OPD at 2.00 pm and either depending on the number of patients who need looking after either more dressings or I go the children's ward and play with them until 4.15 pm and then its feeding time for 25 children who mostly have to be fed individually. I finish between 5.00 and 5.30 pm. Then off to my room for a lie down and more often than not that is the end of the day for me. I climb into bed at 6.30 pm and get stuck into a book and then light off around 8.30 9.00 and sleep very soundly. Back to my new volunteer with OCD obsessive cleaning disorder, Marco. e does clean constantly but he has an extremely irritating habit of whistling like a cockatoo on speed. He gets up at 5.30 am and starts this wretched whistling with no tune or joy to it. I spoke too soon. Two days ago another Spanish volunteer arrived. He is about 25 and speaks perfect English and each night I go to bed with the sound of his guitar playing softly from the next door room, just wonderful. He is mainly playing with the children and is wonderful with them, a real joy to have around. A couple of you have asked about the sexual orientation of Marco the obsessive cleaner. Well in true Italian style with the use of his clenched fist and a cupped fist smacking into each other when he was describing about a particular encounter with a lady friend, I am guessing Marco and Silvio might have crossed paths in the past. It is still quite cold here. You can certainly see you breath in the morning on the way to Mass but is tee shirts by 11.00 am.